When I was 15, I fell in love for the first time. I think you can all guess how that ended. Now nearing my mid 20s, the idea of loving a human woman seems more out of reach than owning a million dollar hypercar (yea pity party!). But the closest thing to love I’ve felt in a long time wasn’t with another person, but rather, a car.
I know, some “doctors” might classify me as “clinically insane.” But this one vehicle was responsible for a week’s worth of infatuation, followed soon after by a week’s worth of heartbreak, which included many pints of dairy-free ice cream and a few terrible rom-coms. The object of my desire was the Jaguar F-Type R Coupe.
The F-Type Coupe first debuted at the 2013 LA Auto Show, and I was there to see it firsthand. Ian Callum — the man who crafted this piece of artwork — was on stage, pretty much telling everyone that this was the coolest Jaguar ever built. I was soaking it all in like a sponge in a cheap blazer. I was enthralled by this car the moment I laid eyes on it.
The convertible is nice, sure, but the coupe — boy oh boy did that thing do something deep down in my psyche. Just look at those lines:
The curves on this thing are outrageous. I’d be less surprised if I saw it in an issue of Playboy before I saw it in any auto magazine. Callum and his team revived the lost art of Jaguar design found in cars like the E-Type, and gave it new breath and a new designation for 2015. It is the absolute epitome of what one imagines when they hear the words “sports car.”
Inside isn’t any less pretty, either. Carbon fiber dash and tacky copper buttons seem to mold seamlessly with the otherwise classy nature of the car. Red and black leather seats are snug and form fit to hug ever crease and crevice of your body, giving you the sensation that you, the car, and the road are connected as one. Cheesy, I know, but 100% accurate.
Good news is, you’ll need those snug seats — because this thing goes.
550 horses escape from the supercharged V8 the second you put your foot down, as well as 502 lb-ft torque. 0-60 mph is managed in about 3.6 seconds, and top speed sits at 186 mph. Not that I got anywhere near that on public roads. Nope.
No siree. All that power is sent to the rear, which makes it a little skittish — but really, just more fun — and carbon ceramic brakes are there when you realize you’ve pushed it too far. If you want a real British rocket, though, Jaguar did release an all-wheel drive version this year, so watch out GT-R.
But believe it or not, there is one thing that surpasses both the performance and design: the noise. Holy hell – that noise.
You would think that a supercharged 5.0-liter V8 sounds well and good all on its own without any extra help. Nah uh. Jaguar fitted quad exhaust tips and an Active Sport Exhaust mode that forces you to carry around an extra pair of underwear. It is one of the best sounding cars on the planet. Hell, probably the universe.
When you push that button just below the gear shifter, the entirety of the car screams out from the rear, audible from miles away, frightening any small animals and children in its path. The hashtag #GoodToBeBad has never been more true. And the noise is just the cherry on top of this British sundae.
This is one of the best cars Jaguar has ever built. Bar none. And I’d be lying if I told you that I wasn’t absolutely head-over-heels in love with it. From the looks to the drive to the noise— it’s everything that you could ever ask for in a car that costs $100K. That’s even without a manual gearbox.
Sure, for that much money you could buy a BMW i8 or a well-equipped Porsche 911, and both of those cars would be just fine. But if you want to feel alive again, if you want to reignite that love for the automobile, the Jaguar F-Type Coupe R is the best car— nay, the best thing $100K can buy you. The guy who said, “Money can’t buy happiness” has clearly never driven a Jaguar F-Type.
Engine: 5.0L Supercharged V8
0-60: 3.6 Seconds
Price: $99,000 (base)
Best sounding V8 around
Infotainment isn’t perfect