Follow by Email

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

The Mercedes-Benz GLE 63 AMG S Coupe Defies Phyics: First Drive


Copyright © 2015 Bold Ride LLC.

The Mercedes-Benz GLE 63 AMG S Coupe isn’t so much of a SUV, as a rip in the very fabric of time and space. It’s as if the laws of physics have been completely thrown out the window in favor of some sci-fi style universe where up is down, Carrot Top is funny, and dogs go “moo.” How is this even possible?
This is a 5,000-pound plus SUV that gives supercar-levels of performance. Yet it has three cows worth of leather, massive rims, and can seat five fully-grown adults, albeit shaved down to fit under the coupe roof. Where has AMG taken us?

Like a Sports Car, But for Getting Groceries

The GLE 63 AMG S Coupe isn’t just about speed, but you’d be forgiven if you thought it was. It uses a twin-turbocharged, 5.5-liter V8 engine to make 577 horsepower, and 561 lb-ft of torque. This gives the behemoth sized SUV the ability to get to 60 miles per hour in just 4.2 seconds. That isn’t brisk—that’s properly fast. For comparison, the previous-generation Porsche 911 GT3 RS took the same amount of time to get to 60.
AMG has worked all their magic into this SUV. The experience is a breathtaking one to say the least. Your mind can’t wrap itself around just how fast this SUV is. However, the best part of all that speed comes in the downshifts. The Mercedes engineers gave the SUV a nice loud “BRAP,” as the transmission selects a lower gear.
 It gives the SUV a more menacing personality, although we’re not sure if the Orange County housewives, who will be the vast majority of GLE 63 AMG S Coupe owners, will appreciate it as we do. They will however, appreciate the ride quality.

Choose Your Own Adventure


The Mercedes ride selector works much like the Range Rover’s ride selector. You just choose what sort of driving you’ll be doing, the on-board computers sort out the optimum ride height, stiffness, and all sorts of things happen to make sure you’re bathed in the lap of luxury. In comfort mode, the ride can best be described as using one of three phrases: Buttery smooth, soft as a down pillow floating on a cloud, smooshy. All work.

 Then you switch the SUV into dynamic. The ride firms up, and the whole SUV hunkers down. You then have a lean, mean, fighting machine. Well, maybe not lean, but definitely more capable of handling its 5,000-plus pound curb weight around twisty canyon roads.

What doesn’t make sense is the multiple off-road settings in the SUV. We’re not saying that it couldn’t handle off-roading, but with summer performance tires, and a couple grand in rims, why even have these functions? There’s no need for it. You’re not going to see those same Orange County wives in Moab. It just doesn’t belong on this SUV. Then, if you add the price, a person would be an idiot to take it off-roading.

That’s A Lot of Zeros

There’s no easy way to put it, but this SUV starts at $109,000. “Starts,” and that’s the base-level package. The price can quickly balloon up to nearly $130,000. And for an SUV that offers limited headroom due to its coupe status, limited off-road capability, and an engine that drinks gasoline at alarmingly fast rates, it just becomes entirely too much money.

The GLE 63 AMG S Coupe is great at making noise, making horsepower, and making you laugh psychotically as you crest over a hill at foolish speeds giving you a weightless feeling for a brief few seconds, allegedly. Yet, as a total package, it’s just entirely too much money.